A year ago I was helping a friend to dig up dozens of plants from her yard so that I could bring them back to Ohio with me. I had changed my plans on traveling in order to have a “central” location in Anthony’s place, then travel more without everything that I owned packed into my Nest. I had it all mapped out in my mind – the people I’d visit, the places I’d finally see, and the way that I’d travel.
Less than 2 months later, that all changed.
I’m not going to make this post about how horribly the VA treats the veterans of this country… but it’s very tempting. Long story condensed, my son needed me more than I needed to travel. And, since his therapists, doctors, and other people weren’t there for him, I had to be.
Anyway… let’s get back on track. A year has passed since the day I lugged large boxes around my friend’s yard while she asked, “What about this one? Did you want a few of those? Do you think this one will survive in the desert?” Most of the bulbs are still thriving, the hellebore is hanging in there (I’m not sure which color variation, though), and the violets seem like they will make a come back. I don’t think the ferns made it, I know the mosses didn’t, and all the tiny flowers with the powerful colors didn’t make it (thrift? I think that’s what they were). It’s all right, though. What I’m taking from this is that sometimes we lose things along the way and those losses will make us sad or even resentful. But we still have other bits of our lives that remain and they will bring beauty and a smile to the world around us.
I might not have my RV or the ferns, but I still have my son and heirloom irises. I might not have travel plans, but I still have plans to buy acreage in the southwest. And now there are new things! There is the new life growing within my daughter, the possibility of a good relationship with my birth father and some of his clan, the new ideas for the shop. And I have the chance to buy more plants (my friend has also offered to ship some more to me in the hopes they take root). And I’d still have a chance to travel later. Where there is life, there is hope.
In other news, this past winter was a bit hellish for me. I’m glad that I had my kids around me and that my friends checked in on me now and then. The seasonal depression hit me harder than usual this time around and it was a struggle to remain cheery online and in my groups. In the chaos of depression, Khaleesi got very sick and lots three pounds in the span of three weeks. Two trips to the vet and we are still unsure of what it was, but she’s on the mend and slowly gaining her weight back. Those days and nights were really hard to get through and I’m glad they’re done.
This morning I stepped outside while the world was still quiet and took a few pictures of the new growth on the plants around us. There is a hedge between our place and the one next door, some sort of bulbs coming up, flowers on a magnolia tree, and more. I was so happy to see it, even in the midst of the morning chill. We’re supposed to have thunderstorms tomorrow so I might step outside to stand in the storm for a little while. It will be cold, so I’ll have to bundle up a little, but it just might be worth it.
On that note, it’s nearly time for me to get to sleep. I hope that you are all having a good weekend!