Breathing…

As I sit here in my room, coffee at hand, the sound of gulls outside the window, and the cats napping nearby, I look around at all the things I still have to take care of. At this point, however, my hands are tied until I have the motor home parked here (or in a storage facility). I don’t want to purchase the shelves until I know what size will fit best in my new living quarters. I don’t want to buy the paint until I have a better idea of the lighting inside. I don’t want to buy the skylights until I see if the motorhome already has some. And so, I’m in a bit of a standstill.

I’m still culling possessions and, though I’ve gotten everything down to only my bedroom and studio, along with the essential kitchen ware, I’m still thinking that I can eliminate even more. Do I really need this many shirts from TeeFury? No, but they’re all special… I could make them into a blanket, though. Do I need 2 wool coats? No, but I’d planned on altering the one to fit more like a frock coat and the other is short enough for ease of movement. I might not need this desk since the table in the motorhome might suffice. My shoes are about as minimal as they can get – one pair each of tennies, stylish boots, sandals, and two pair of Vibrams Five Fingered (more like toe socks with soles). My yarn has been reduced to fit into three bins (one is leftovers). Cosmetics are down to one leaf-shaped bowl and toiletries are less than a shelf’s worth. What else can I cut back on?

There are so many things going through my head lately, too. Will the rocket stove and solar cooker be enough? Will the batteries I’ve chosen keep my fridge running all night? How many wool rugs should I knit? Would it be better to crochet them so that they’re thicker? What if I mess up the wood stove installation? What if I can’t get back to a town? What if my inverter messes up?

Then I take a deep breath and ask myself a different set of questions – What if I see a herd of deer outside my window? What if I discover a tiny stream with the most beautiful moss along its shore? What if I see a Cactus Wren bringing food to its chicks? What if I hear wolf songs in the middle of the night? What if I get to see bison in person?

No matter what, I know that it will all be fine in the end. And I’ll have had an opportunity that my mother didn’t get the chance to have – living my dream.

Today I’m hoping to get more of the yarn dyed and listed in the shop as well as preparing a few embroidery items. In the next couple of weeks, time will be extremely limited and I might not be out here as much as I’d like, but I’ll be taking loads of pictures along the way!