Sadness and Sunshine

I’m going to say the first part swiftly and without elaboration. I think it will make it easier.

Aurora died at the beginning of April. Her health had declined rapidly and, even though I knew it was coming, it hit me really, really hard.

There. I did it. Yes, it’s been over a month, but I miss her terribly most days. She brought so much laughter to my life and there were so many things that I did because of her that every day has been an effort not to cry. Everything from announcing that I’m “doing foil” so that she could go hide (she was afraid of the sound) to the immediate purry-meow whenever I opened a bag of cheese… all of these things I now do without my blue-eyed sweetheart. I have never had a more loving animal in all of my life and I think I’ll miss her for a very long time.

01In other news, Ofelia is completely recovered from her spaying surgery and has even been taking naps with the other cats. She has her favorite toy and, while she will occasionally play with something else, she gets a little sad when she can’t find the purple mouse. Usually it’s found under a table or a blanket because that’s where she put it and promptly forgot. We shaved most of Lyra’s fur recently to help her stay cool during the hotter days and she seems a lot more comfortable. She still “bosses” us around if we’re up past our normal bedtimes, but mostly she seems to be enjoying her golden years (she’s now 12). Serephina has been sleeping by my side lately instead of at my knees and I can’t help but wonder if it’s her way of letting me know that she cares about me.

Plans for the motor home are coming along nicely. I’m hesitant to say much about it right now since things have gone awry in the past, but I’ve been researching solar panels, battery banks, water filters, solar ovens, and so much more. There have been days when my brain is so crammed with the numbers of amp hours, watts, battery percentage, sun percentage, and how they all mesh together to give me a semi-comfortable existence that I can imagine the numbers oozing out of my ears. But, it’s all stuff I need to know before I connect everything up.

I’ve been able to start walking again and have been able to keep my goal of one mile per day with 2 days break. This morning I slowly ran one hundred meters. I know that it doesn’t seem like very much and, compared to a 5k or a marathon, it’s just a drop in the bucket. But it’s a start. I’ve brought most of my health issues under control, though there is still the prospect of surgery, but I’ll cross that bridge when I’ve no other options. The good thing is that I’m back on my feet. And I intend to stay there, even though there are regular naps along the way.

It’s beautiful most mornings and I’m able to step out onto the porch and watch the sun rise. There is a slight scent of rosemary and lavender from the plants I have out there and I usually run my fingers through the leaves to make the scent stronger before I head back inside to start my workday. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to figure out how to take them with me when I leave, even though I know that neither of them like living in pots.

I’d like to write more, but I also want to knit a little today and I’ve not been able to just yet. So, I’ll sign off and send out lots of love to you all.

Stabilization

Another long while before I’m able to come in here and share my thouMossghts with you all. There are so many changes since I last posted! I’m not even sure where to start, but let’s see where the train of thought takes us, shall we?

This morning I had the desire to listen to some music that I’d not listened to since I lived in Phoenix. Lorrie Morgan, Tim McGraw, Juice Newton, and more. So I created a Pandora station with the thought that I’d get it out of my system and go back to the tunes that have been coming from my speakers lately. Instead, I find myself singing along to nearly every song that has played so far. The memories are no longer haunting, but are filled with smiles and goodness instead. I’ve come a long way from that young woman who was so excited to head east into a new life, a new dream. Do I miss her sometimes? Yes, I certainly do. The naiveté, the belief in goodness, and the softer edges. But I like who I am now. Sure, there are sharper corners and I have seen some displays of hatred that shattered my rose-colored glasses, but there is a deep core of energy and strength that I didn’t know that I could use.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over these years and the most uplifting thing is that I am still growing and changing and becoming more Me. I have been enjoying more days of feeling positive and hopeful about the future and that is a really good thing. I can believe that there will be a bright tomorrow for me and the ones I love.

Updates:

  • New kitten in the house. Ofelia is a runty female with mostly white fur and calico ears & tail. She’s going in for her surgery in the next month or so. The other cats are tolerant of her and have even taken a few naps near her.
  • The Tarot Workshop is coming along nicely and I’m coming up with new ideas each week. When I release it publicly I think it will be pretty good.
  • I’ve teamed up with a designer and she’s been wonderful to work with. You should check out some of her patterns at Designs by Mesha.
  • I’ve been without coffee for about 6 weeks, I think. It was a smooth transition to tea, but I’m missing that flavor so I’ll likely pick up some quality decaf or something.
  • I’ve learned how to pair several things through bluetooth as well as tethering my tablet to use for my internet. These are things that will come in handy when I hit the road.
  • Knitting and listening to books is still how I spend my free time and I’ve found a lot of time to think about the deeper lessons in my life.
  • My fatigue levels aren’t as bad as when I moved here even though I do still need a nap every couple days.

That’s about it for now. I’m sending out positive thoughts to you all!

Destination

02Throughout the month I have been thinking about my chosen word for this year (Apparate) and how I can apply it to each day. This past week, I’ve chosen to focus solely on the Destination. In the simplest terms, I think about how the things I do each day would be handled in such a small space. In what ways would I conserve water even more than I do now? Would I prepare food differently? What about washing dishes? Clothes? Planting veggies?

Right now, as many of us do, I rinse my dishes after use then wash them when I have a day’s worth. I wash them in a small Rubbermaid bin and rinse them under running water. That’s a lot of water, even if I have it just above a trickle, but I’m not entirely comfortable rinsing them in a second tub of clean water because I know that the water will be more soapy as I rinse the last dish. I do know that I could collect the rinse water and use it for watering my plants, but that’s still only a tiny solution since I don’t water daily. Since the water will have a trace of dish soap, it wouldn’t be a good medium for dyeing yarn, either. Washing clothes? Perhaps.

I’m still using the laundry room here, but also have a bucket and (new) plunger for when I wash my non-work clothes and my hand-knit socks. I also have a Laundry Alternative Spin Dryer and that really makes a huge difference in the length of drying time. For the most part, I’m fine with washing my clothing by hand (except the work clothes), so I think that part is set.

I’ve also been spending some time reading articles and watching videos on various repairs that might be needed. Replacing a roof is certainly not something that I want to do, but I know that I would be able to. That goes for a lot of other repairs that could come up. This is one area that I am forever grateful to my parents because they involved me in household and vehicle repairs.

As I continue to set money aside and build up stock for the shops, I also think about the people I’ll be visiting. There are so many out there who I want to sit down with and talk about whatever comes up, knit a few rows, spin a couple ounces, or whatever else we feel like doing. There are some who have shown support and faith in me throughout the years and I am looking forward to hugging them in person and telling them how very important they are to me. While seeing the country is a great thing, it is the people who will make this all the more amazing.